Tell the story only you can tell...

...this was the theme for the 08 Scrap Etc Event. I love it...it's something that I've been thinking about for the past year. Who's going to tell my story if not me?? No one. Because no one understands me better than me.

But as I sat in my classes and listened to some of the instructors talk about their story, I realized that I'm a pretty lucky girl. Some of these women are considered celebrities in the scrapbooking world so to hear them open their hearts and talk about their personal experiences, I was shocked to find that they haven't always been happy...they haven't always lived a charmed life. They had unhappy moments in their marriage, didn't enjoy being pregnant, battled postpartum depression and seriously thought at times that they no longer wanted to be moms...or wives.

Ayden and Jameson are both a handful. They're crazy...they're BOYS! I loved being pregnant with them and would do it again in a heartbeat!! I was in total awe after both of my deliveries and I felt nothing but an overwhelming surge of love flow through me. I can't imagine it being any other way and feel so sad that any woman would be deprived of these emotions.

I agree with the instructors that you need to tell your story...good and bad. But looking back, I realize that I have way more good than bad in my life. I want my boys to know that. I want them to know that they were born because their parents loved eachother and wanted them more than anything. I want them to know that as parents, Jason and I have both struggled but in the end we love them greatly. I want them to know who we are, were we came from and what our dreams are. Maybe when they become adults and find that someone special to marry and have babies of their own, our story will inspire them. They will look back and see that despite the struggles, we were happy. They'll know it's okay to have doubts, it's okay to be scared, it's okay to trust but most importantly I hope they'll know that we lived our lives to the fullest and cherished the special moments we've exprienced as a family.

Will I continue to bitch about having to clean poop off of every surface of the bathroom? Will I continue to complain when my children misbehave or drive me to the brink of insanity? Will I still lose my temper and lock myself in my bedroom for at least 2 minutes of quiet time? Of course! I wouldn't be human if I didn't. But if I took one thing back from this trip, it's that it could be so much worse...that I need to get over the bad times quickly because something good is right around the corner and I'd hate to miss it.

So I promise to finish downloading my photos tonight and get them uploaded into flickr. I'm also resuming my birthday countdown for Jameson by posting another picture of him today. 15 more days until my little goober turns 2!

Like I need more in my life!

Ya'll know how much I love photography and scrapping. If you don't...where the hell have you been? You certainly haven't been reading this blog!

Okay, so I love photography and scrapping. I love photographing and scrapping my family the most...works well for all of us. But lately I've been feeling like there's more out there. I really wasn't sure what that "more" was but I just KNEW that there was more for me to learn. After spending numerous hours blog stalking, (definition of blog stalking: reading one person's blog, which leads you to another blog, which leads you to another blog, which leads you to another blog until finally you have no idea how the hell you got to the current blog) I stumbled onto this woman's blog who loves to knit and quilt. These are two things that I've always admired, but from afar. My great grandma used to quilt and knit. In fact, one of Jameson's crib blankets is a quilt she made for Ayden. Both boys have used it. I love that quilting and knitting can produce things that will be passed down to other generations. Sort of like the scrapbooks that I will some day complete.

So maybe quilting and knitting are my "more". Seriously, how suzy-homemaker is that? Pretty soon I'm going to be a stay-at-home-mom who cooks, sews, knits, quilts and scrapbooks!! No offense to any SAHM who does all of that but when you grow up with the vision of having some high-profile career making tons of money in a big city, the whole suzy-homemaker thing seems a bit foreign. Since I haven't exactly done the high-profile job making tons of money thing either, I think I need to find that happy medium. How about working/creative mom. Yeah, that sounds good.

The entire point to this is that I think I need to find some "more" and maybe quilting and knitting is it. I need to be able to something creative while sitting on the deck watching the boys play or while we watch yet another episode of Scooby Doo. I think the next step for me will be to buy some "beginning" quilting and knitting books and possibly buy the basic yet necessary tools.

I'll keep you posted. Who knows, maybe this year for Christmas you'll be getting a homemade scarf and quilt! Believe me, crazier things have happened....

If You Could Pick Any Career...

...what would it be?

I definitely did not pick accounting to be my career, it sort of picked me. I was working as a receptionist for a company in down town Chicago and there was an opening in their accouting department. Not really wanting to be a receptionist, I chose to take some accounting courses at the local community college and move into the accounts payable department. Okay, so I was technically the only person in the accounts payable department but I remember feeling so much more important...needed...appreciated. All of a sudden I had a goal. Continue my education and some day become a CPA (since they make very nice money). I moved from accounts payable to accounts receivable to staff accountant. When I moved back to Wisconsin I started out in accounts payable again. Shortly after I found myself moved into cost accounting. I finally got my associates degree in accouting shortly after marrying Jason. Now in Georgia, my concentration is in payroll. Don't get me wrong, I love my job...I just don't see me doing this for the rest of my life.

So if I could pick any career, it would be photography. I am in total awe of the amazing way photographers capture life. There is so much beauty in this world and it always seems to look better through the lens of a camera. Since I began scrapping, I've been trying to change the way I take my pictures. Learning to use your camera is so much fun! Editing your photos can be even more fun!

I never thought of myself as creative. I can't draw a stick person to save my life. I always thought you made art when you used paint or sculptured something...you had to use your hands. I never thought of photography as art. Boy was I wrong. There are so many photographers that I find so inspiring! Looking at their work gives me tingles...it lifts me up...it makes me see things differently.

So who knows, maybe 10 years down the road I won't be sitting in an office in front of a computer making sure everyone is paid on time. Maybe I'll be photographing someone's wedding. Making sure that the joy and love that they feel for eachother that day is captured forever. Or maybe I'll be photographing a newborn baby in such a way that it's parents will always remember how their baby smelled like lavendar and felt like silk.

What is your ideal career? Maybe you're already living it...

BTW - We have a contact at Savannah College of Art & Design (Chere's son, Dusty) who is looking into the cost of Photoshop CS3 with his student discount for us. There is no way I could ever spend $650 on this software so I hope he gets a good discount! Using this software, you can transform an every day photo into an amazing piece of art. I get the chills just thinking about it!

BTW 2 - I'm also going to add a new category to my sidebar. As I find photographers who inspire me, I'll add a link to their website/blog so you can check them out too.

Support System

With the crazy schedule that Jason and I have, it's so important to have a good support system. Not only to help with the day to day stuff, but emotional support as well. I look at being a good mother, maintaining our home and going to work all as my job. A job that I take pride in! Just like Jason takes pride in his work at Patriot. But sometimes I do get tired and frustrated. Sometimes I feel like I need to be doing more. Sometimes I feel like the responsibilty of it all is just too overwhelming. It's times like these that I rely on my fabulous support system and I don't even think they know how much they do for me.

In no specific order....

Jason - You are my world. It certainly hasn't always been easy, but I think we're finally figuring it all out. Thank you for letting me vent about work, helping so much with the boys, supporting my obsession with scrapping and understanding that getting away every once in a while is what keeps me sane. You are a fabulous husband and such a loving daddy. I fall in love with you all over again every time I see you with your children. Their eyes light up every time you walk in the door. I'm so proud of the man you have become. Trust me, no one can piss me off like you can, but no one can make me laugh like you can either.

Erin and Nikki - Do you know how much it means to me to be able to pick up the phone and just hear your voice? Listening to what's going on in your lives takes me away from mine...even if it's only for 5 minutes. I miss you both so much!

Mom & Peter - You rescue me when Jason is working such long, crazy hours. You go on trips with us, take us to dinner and lavish Ayden and Jameson with so much attention. Every time you pull the boys up on your lap for a cuddle, it's a couple of minutes that they're not demanding something of me. You fill their sippies with juice, go find their missing stuffed animal or make sure they're wrapped up in a blanket for some cartoon time. I appreciate everything that you do for your grandchildren because the end result is that you're helping me. I would truly be lost without you!

Debbie & Steve - Seriously, not only are you both such loving and generous grandparents but who else will travel a thousand miles away from home to help take care of my boys so I can have a little "me" time. I would never have been able to go to Hawaii last year if it weren't for Debbie. I love calling you on my way home from work to hear the family gossip. Thank you so much for raising such an amazing son. I love telling you what a great daddy he is and what a truly amazing man he is turning out to be. I know it can't be easy to be so far away from us, but you never make us feel guilty for making the move to Georgia. If anything, I think you understand most why it was so important for us.

Dad & Mary Joy - I truly believe that there is nothing you wouldn't do for your grandchildren. You are both so generous with your love. It's so reasuring to know that my daddy still worries about me and wants the best for me. You never fail to call and check up on us every Sunday. I look forward to 8:30am more than you know and have so much fun watching Ayden talk to his grandpa and grandma. I know if you could, you'd spend every second of vacation time that you have up at the cottage. So making a few trips down to see us every year means the world to me. I know it's not easy for you either...being so far away from us, but you've been very understanding of our need to start fresh in a new place.

Divas - (Mom, Chere, Judy & our newbie - Pam) Last but not least. What would I do without you? You always joke around that you can't understand why I choose to hange out with a group of women older than me. Why wouldn't I? Each of you are so amazing and I feel like we all bring our own special personalities to the group. We mesh so well! You're my friends, my inspiration and my traveling companions. I love that you share your life experiences with me because I need to know that everything that I'm going through is normal. Thanks girls!

Where in the world is all of the coming from? Well, in keeping with this year's plan to simplify I realized that it wouldn't be possible without my support system. Whether they know it or not, all of these people contribute to my sanity either by helping with the boys, making me laugh or giving me much needed advice. Their support is what keeps me going!

Thanks so much to you all!!!