I have willpower...I have willpower...I have willpower...

This morning I ate a slightly charred english muffin with a minuscule amount of low fat chive cream cheese for breakfast. Later at 11:30 I made myself walk across the street to walk 45 minutes on the treadmill at a speed of 4 (45 minutes at this speed is 3 miles). I then dragged my ass back across the street where I warmed up a tasty Lean Cuisine. Because I'm a pathetic individual and want nothing more than to sink my teeth into a double cheeseburger from Wendy's, I'm now tipping the Lean Cuisine tray up to my face so that I can slurp up the remaining gravy from my portabella tips in mushroom gravy.

I have willpower...I have willpower...I have willpower...I NEED to have willpower. I'm going to my very skinny cousin's wedding this summer and I can't miss it since Ayden is standing up as the ringbearer. Well actually, even if Ayden weren't standing up I'd still want to be there but ALL of my cousins are as skinny as a rail. Cute and skinny...not just skinny. I refuse to be the cousin at the end with her protruding muffin top!

So everyone chant with me. I have willpower...I have willpower.

Oh be still my heart!

Back To Normal

The sweet moments between my boys are so far and few between. After posting that wondeful bedtime conversation, I have to admit that sort of stuff just doesn't happen very often. This morning we were back to normal.

After getting dressed and brushing teeth, I told the boys to go sit on the couch with their sippies. I had just finished telling Ayden that if he was a very good boy today, that he could play with his Smart Cycle when we got home. He LOVES his Smart Cycle. Anyway, as I'm walking into the living room I witness little Jameson attempting to get on the couch next to his brother and Ayden kicking his foot out, nailing Jameson in the head and knocking him back a couple of feet. Just because he didn't want to share the couch. Ayden got a nice talking to and then was told he wouldn't be allowed to play with his Smart Cycle today. That brought on the the tears, sobbing, runny nose, whining and pleading for forgiveness. Being the very mean mommy that I am, I simply ignored him and told him that he had to suffer the consequences of karate chopping his brother in the head.

Last week, I had the boys sitting on the couch with their sippies while I finished getting ready for the day. Next thing I know, Ayden is screaming and crying while clutching his face. When I asked what happened he said they were watching TV and Jameson decided to smack Ayden in the face with his sippy cup. Jeeze! Right across the nose! Maybe I should wait until we're leaving the house before giving them their sippy cups:)

In other news, Jason still isn't home from Alabama. After leaving on Sunday, he was supposed to get back Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, but Richard (loser hick from Griffin) bailed on the trip because he got into a fight with his wife...who then took off with her sister...leaving Richard home alone with their newborn daughter. Seriously! Richard and his wife would be perfect for the Jerry Springer Show. Jason ended up doing all of the work himself and called last night to tell me he didn't think it was safe for him to drive because he's so exhausted. My poor bunny.

I feel bad for dumping Jason with the boys on Sunday when he's had such a horrible week, but mommy needs some mommy time. The divas only meet once a month and I NEED that time away. For 6 hours I don't have to change diapers, feed children, pick up their messes or do housework. I need those 6 hours to get through the other 714 each month.

I must run for now. I still have sort paystubs, update the commission schedule, prepare the payroll JE and do the withholding recons. Sounds like fun, huh? At least I have my hour at the TAC (Turner Athletic Club) to look forward to...insert sarcastic chuckle!

Conversation With Ayden

This is a conversation I had with Ayden last night at bedtime.

Mommy: Goodnight baby. I love you more than the stars and the moon.

Ayden: I love you too.

(I started to close the door while holding Jameson)

Ayden: Wait. Mommy, can I tell you something?

Mommy: Sure buddy what's up?

Ayden: I love you more. (Tears started swelling up in my eyes)

Mommy: That's impossible love...mommy started loving you before you were even born.

Ayden: Hmmmm...okay then. Sweet dreams mommy. (At this point I would have let him stay up an extra half hour with a big bowl of ice cream)

(I started to close the door again before I began blubbering like a fool in front of my kids)

Ayden: Good night brother...sweet dreams too.

Jameson: Nigh, Nigh...as he's waving goodbye.

There are times that I worry they're going to kill eachother, and then there are times like this. They make my heart overflow with love.

My Newfound Love

I think this is the 4th month of my Lable Tulip kit subscription. For all of you scrappers, this is a fabulous way to get some of he most popular supplies delivered to your door for the bargain price of $35 per month. I love the kits, I love the add-ons...I can't get enough. The variety of product they send is too much fun. The design team comes up with some of the coolest layouts/projects.

If you're interested, you have to check out their website... http://www.labeltulip.com/

When they say the kit is available for sale at 10am, they mean it. You'd better be onlin at 10am ready to buy. The good thing is that once you're a subscriber, they just automatically deduct the cost of the kit from your checking account every month. No muss, no fuss. They normally send it out around the 21st and I have it within a couple of days. When I see that box of goodies sitting on my front porch my heart goes pitter patter.

Seriously...check it out!

I Want To Become A Pioneer Woman

I'm beyond addicted to Pioneer Woman's blog. Her writing style is superb and she weaves a fabulous tale. I decided to go back to the beginning and read her story of how she and Marlboro Man hooked up. Big mistake. This story has completely sucked me in and has taken up hours of my day. Even knowing that I'm should be spending this time doing something productive like playing with the boys, cleaning a bathroom or folding a load of laundry...I can't tear myself away from the computer.

Let me back up just a bit. Today was my doctor appointment that would hopefully solve the mystery of my blurred vision. After waiting 1 1/2 hours to see the doctor (someone had a seizure while getting their blood drawn which took up my doctor's precious time), 15 vials of blood and an appointment for an MRI next week; I know nothing more than I did when I walked in the door. By the time I left, it would've been a waste of time and gas to go into work. I went home and decided to weed through the very large box of photographs I've been collecting since high school. Not knowing what to do with myself after that, I decided to see if Pioneer Woman had posted anything new today. This led me to reading her tale about meeting Marlboro Man. It took everything I had to leave my computer so I could pick up the boys. I fed them a gourmet meal of shaved turkey, string cheese and Cheetos. This was the quickest thing I could think of that also required little clean up. I stuck their butts in the bath and unwillingly sang Old McDonald about a dozen times. This is not me! I love bath time...I love singing with the boys! I look forward to sniffing their clean little heads before tucking them into bed. Thoughts of what happens next between Pioneer Woman and Marlboro Man kept me preoccupied. Even as I type, they are on the couch tucked under a blanket watching Scooby Doo. I'm a bad mama.

To make myself feel a little better I'm going to post some pictures of the boys. I took these earlier tonight during one of my feelings of guilt. I have such cute little munchkins! After they are in bed, I'm going to pick up where I left off...Marlboro Man just asked Ree to not move to Chicago. Be still my heart!

Jameson playing with the grinder on our fireplace. Normally this would not be allowed.

Ayden trying to unscrew the fireplace doors...again, normally this is not allowed.

Jameson is giving me the "look at me being naughty - aren't you going to spank me" look.

Not even the attempt to "fix" my vacuum cleaner could tear me away from Pioneer Woman. I'm just not sure if it will ever suck up dirt again.

Ayden's slippers crack me up. He's trying to be a "workin' man" with SpongeBob on his feet. Too Funny!

Scrap Area Sneak Peak

My goal was to get my entire scrap area cleaned and organized this weekend. Ever since moving to my new IKEA bookshelves (fabulous Christmas gift from Jason), I've had stuff in piles everywhere. I have a ton of wall space so decided to utilize it for some of my everyday supplies. The boys and I ventured to IKEA again this weekend to get this wall organizer. It's actually meant for a kitchen, but I saw a different use for it.

I had to snap a picture of my desk. I don't think I've ever seen it this clean...ever.

Oh, my sweet Clip-It-Up. This was a Christmas gift from my mom and I love that some of my most favorite products are right at my fingertips.

This is the shelf that used to hang above the computer until we moved everything around. Now it's used for ribbon storage. It still looks nice hanging over the printers.

There will be more to come at a later date. What you don't see in these pictures are the 3 piles of stuff on the floor that I still have to go through and organize. Maybe with Jason in Alabama until Wednesday, I'll get some more done this week.

I hope everyone had a good weekend. I'm off to the doctor in the morning to hopefully find out what's behind my blurred vision.

Atlanta Motorcycle Show

Here are a few pics from last weekend's motorcycle show. Both of the boys were so busy running from one thing to another that it was hard to get any good pictures.

At first Jameson was only interested in his goldfish snack.

Ayden and I were only interested in trying out the ATV's!

After seeing how much fun we were having, Jameson wanted to get on a few too. He HAD to push every single button there was.

I got sick of sitting on every ATV we saw so daddy took a turn after Ayden polished off a mini bag of Oreo cookies. Nice mouth!

I fell in love with the Yamaha Raptor while we were there. It was sooooo cool!

Good News and More Good News

Good news...I've only had one "episode" so far today. Since it's already 9:15ish, that's a good thing. I'm shooting for a total of 4 today. Not like I can control it, but I feel like with some positive thinking I may be able to sway my brain into cutting me a little slack today. More good news...it's nail night and by bunny has promised to be home to watch the boys for me. Oh, I also have left over ranch/cream cheese potatos for lunch. I'm still remembering our yummy dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn from last night.

More good news...I'm full of good news today...I added some more of my favorite links down and to the left. You HAVE to read Pioneer Woman! It's not a scrapping blog but she is hilarious!! She loves her Marlboro Man just as much as I love my plumber:)

Okay, one more good thing. I joined the athletic club across from CNN today. This is my first step to a healthy 2008! I plan on walking the treadmill for 45 minutes and maybe get involved in the spin class once I'm a little more in shape. Yeah me!

Wednesday

It's Wednesday, but I sure wish it were Friday.

I have an appointment on Monday to see my new PCP (primary care physician). She's my mom's PCP and if mom likes her, I know I'll like her. Anything is a vast improvement over my old PCP! I've been experiencing some blurred vision and dizziness for the past 6 days and it's starting to concern me. I went to see the eye doctor yesterday and he gave me a clean bill of health. Still no need for glasses and the hydroxychloroquin that I take for my Lupus still hasn't damaged my retina. So, I'm off to see Dr. Danforth on Monday to find out what the heck is wrong with me. Blurred vision while driving is not something that I'd recommend. I'm sure it will be something simple, but my over-active imagination has kicked into high gear because of this. Before too long, I'll have myself convinced that I'm dying of a brain tumor. As for now, I looked up the symptoms of anemia:

• Weakness and fatigue are the most common symptoms of even mild anemia. Even iron deficiency without anemia can reduce working capacity in some people. check
• Lightheadedness or dizziness check
• Headache check
• Irritability and other mood disturbances check check
• Mental confusion ummmm...yup
• Loss of sexual drive just ask Jason

Shit! Apparently I've been anemic for a couple of years now but the dizziness just kicked in a week ago!!

Anyway, I just had one of my "episodes" as I like to call them so I'm treating myself to a chocolate covered potato chip to boost moral. Jason was supposed to leave for Alabama again on Thursday but has postponed his trip to next week in order to cater to Mr. Tyler Perry. That man bought his personal trainer a new Land Rover for Christmas....what about his personal plumber? Still, I'm relieved that Jason is closer to home this week.

We took the boys to the Atlanta Motorcycle Show this weekend at the GWCC (across from my office) and had a great time. The boys and I were much more interested in seeing the different ATV's. I think Ayden sat on every single one of them! I have pictures to post after I get them downloaded tonight. I fell in love with the Yamaha Rhino. OMG! They look like so much fun!! I can totally see me and the boys cruising around in that thing:)

I've been working on simplifying our life a bit more...actually only mine. I figured out that I really do enjoy cleaning and doing laundry, but it's not something that I can easily get done in just one or two days start to finish. When it seems so overwhelming I tend to just not do it. So I'm working on it a little every night. Dust a room here, wash a floor there, throw in a load of laundry and bam! I feel like I'm accomplishing something. I've also started making the beds every morning and picking up the living room and kitchen before I go to bed at night. I've also made a promise to myself that as I fold laundry, I will put it away...immediately. Wow! What a difference this has made already!! My scrap area is definitely the exception though. That is going to require a solid day of organizing and cleaning...without interference from the boys.

Until tomorrow....

Mushroom Risotto + 2 Bottles of Wine =

One heck of a family dinner. Too bad daddy still wasn't home from Alabama!

Bumpa eating desert...yum, yum.

Ayden loves my new measuring cups from Williams-Sonoma.

I'm seriously not a slob. I get this way from my children using me as their napkin. Hazard of being a mommy!

BTW - I just got my hair cut...6 inches!

After bathtime, the boys rocked out to the SpongeBob theme song!

Payne Update

Ha! I haven't written that phrase in ages!!! I haven't had a ton of time lately to update the blog. It's been insane at work and getting to the computer at home is a joke. So here's what's been going on with the Payne family lately.

Ayden is getting bigger every day. He's trying to be so independent but still has moments where he's my baby. He still loves riding in the backyard on his 4wheeler and playing with play dough. He's totally an arts and crafts kid. Anything to do with scissors, glue and paint...he's all over it. This fall we're going to get him involved in karate and soccer. Ayden absolutely loves school. Today is show-and-tell and he brought in this key chain that I gave him from work. It looks like an energy efficient light bulb and when you press it, it's a flashlight. I couldn't believe he chose that to take to school but he loves it! On the 30th he's having a pajama party at school. All of the kids and teachers show up in their pajamas! They read bedtime stories, eat popcorn and drink hot chocolate. Ayden can't wait!

This coming Monday I'm visiting The Primrose Academy where Ayden will probably go to school in the fall. In Georgia, kids are required to attend Pre-K, but the program is paid by the Georgia Lottery. Since it's not paid by property taxes, the public schools don't have to offer the program. Tyrone Elementary has become so overcrowded, that they dropped Pre-K to make more room for grades K through 5. Daycares and private schools can offer Pre-K whether it's paid by the Georgia Lottery or not. The Primrose Academy is not funded by the lottery so we will have to pay the tuition, but I'm hoping it's not $6,000 like another private school I looked at.

Jameson is also growing like a weed. He's getting taller, but not gaining a lot of weight. He's still in a size 4 diaper (Ayden wore a size 6 at this age) and can't wear 2T pants because they fall right off his waist. Right now his passion is yelling at the dogs. When it's time for the dogs to go outside, he stands in the hallway yelling towards my bedroom where Bonnie is sleeping. Boo Boo! Boo Boo! This continues until Bonnie slowly makes her way to the back door. He also loves tossing the dog toys at them and screeching at the top of his lungs to get Clyde to howl. I need to invest in a pair of ear plugs. Every night when I make dinner, Jameson sits on the kitchen counter with a wooden spoon and the sauce pan "cooking" with mommy. He can't sleep the entire night in his crib. Around 2am he'll crawl out and come in by me. I wake up to "mummy....mummy....MUMMY" and toss his butt in bed between me and Jason. The last couple of nights, he's woken up around 11pm and I've taken him back to his room where he'll sleep until about the time I'm done with my shower. He's can't stop playing with his miniature Hoover vacuum cleaner and shopping cart. I'm about to throw both of them out the window. His vocabulary is growing daily. We're now up to cat, shoes, juice, eat, down, night-night, no, stop, Boo Boo, Clyde Clyde, mummy, daddy, choo choo, moo cow, cheese, hot, go and mine.

Jason is in Alabama...again. I'm sooooo ready for these jobs to be done! He's almost done with the Ulta stores in Tuscaloosa and Hoover, but just started the rough-in at Huntsville. I was just informed that they may have one more to do in Montgomery but it's still in the bidding stages. I had Jason inform Rob (the owner) that he's been cut off from baked goods until he stops sending my husband out of state. Since Rob's wife (her name is Jamie also) doesn't like to bake, this is actually a serious threat. The office is used to getting cookies, cupcakes, muffins, brownies and cake delivered on a regular basis. No more. Jason had a blast this past Saturday taking Ayden to see the Monster Trucks at the Georgia Dome. They didn't get home until after 11:30 and Ayden managed to stay up the entire time. He's been working on his attitude with the boys and I can tell a difference with Ayden already. Jason really wants a 4wheeler so we'll probably be looking into that this summer. I want the kitchen done first!

Jamie has been doing pretty good considering it's been insane at work, her husband is barely home and the house seems to be surrounded by chaos. My idea to "Simplify" hasn't being going so well, but I think I'll be able to work on it some more once January passes. I'm really looking forward to the Scrap Etc Event and the Keith Urban/Carry Underwood concert in April. We have some Wisconsin visitors coming down in 2008 as well. Debbie will be down for a couple of weeks in April, my dad and Mary Joy will be here in May, Scotty is planning on coming down in April or May and Tom and Roxanne are thinking about July. Now if I could only get Nikki and Erin down here, my world would be complete!! The southern Paynes will be in Wisconsin July 18th-July 27th. The last weekend will be spent in Minnesota where Ayden will be standing up in my cousin Jen's wedding. I'm just looking forward to seeing a lot of friends and family that we haven't seen in a year or more!

Well, duty calls. Everyone have a fantastic Thursday!!!

It Beginning To Look A Lot Like....

...Wisconsin? It started to snow/sleet/rain around 4pm yesterday. Things sort of came to an end by about 8 and now it's just raining. According to Karen (the weather girl on channel 3), we got about 1/2 inch of snow/ice. They're saying the roads aren't bad since it's been raining long enough to melt the ice, so I'm about to drop the boys off at Marguerites and make the trip into the city. Wish me luck!

Edited: I made it to work on time and in one piece. The roads really weren't that bad.

Making Cupcakes

To celebrate Bumpa's birthday, Mimi made a fabulous spaghetti dinner and we provided the cupcakes (see Mimi's blog for the fantastic display of the cupcakes). The boys probably had a bit too much frosting during the baking process. What do you think???

Cupcakes before sprinkles

Ayden couldn't stand still long enough for a picture

Jameson actually looks drunk on frosting...

and got upset when I demanded that the spoon go in the sink before he got splinters on his tongue

Backing Up To Christmas

The tree.

Jameson inherited Ayden's old magnadoodle...
since Ayden got the newer, "laser" version for Christmas.
Jameson had to check out the competition's work.

Backing Up To Christmas Eve

The 10ft cables are officially connected and I just downloaded 150 pictures. I thought I'd back up and finally post some pictures from Christmas! We spent Christmas Eve at Mimi and Bumpa's.

Jameson took his time opening each gift.

Ayden was a great helper by throwing all the wrapping paper away.

This shirt from Mimi was beyond appropriate for Bumpa.

My Word

I feel like I need to address something before I talk about "my word"....I'm failing in my resolution #7. It's because of circumstances that I can't control though. When Jason bought my new bookshelves for Christmas, we ended up totally rearranging my scrap area. It looks so much more open now. But the place where the printers worked out the best is sort of far away from our PC. We have 6ft USB cables and need more like 10ft. Bumpa is going to see what he can snag from work this week and if he can't find anything long enough, we're heading to Best Buy first thing Saturday morning. What do the printers have anything to do with me not posting pictures on the blog??? That's how I download pictures from my memory card...through our all-in-one printer. So I promise that as soon as I'm up and running again, I'll have pictures to post.

Now, onto my word. My word for 2008 is sort of like my mantra. SIMPLIFY. Doesn't it sound great?

My 2007 word was FIND. I think I really succeeded there. I found out more about myself, found a routine that works for me and the boys, found a way to make more money at work without a promotion (still working on achieving that though) and I found contentment in my place in life.

So for 2008 I want to SIMPLIFY. As a family, we really need to get back to the basics and SIMPLIFY our life (and home) before things become even more crazy. I keep thinking that in the fall Ayden starts Pre-K. This means that I'll have the boys in 2 different locations during the day(2 different drop offs and pick ups) and we'll have school activities to make room for. We also want to get Ayden involved in karate and soccer. Basically, our life is going to become even more hectic, so now is my time to SIMPLIFY. I need to get organized!

Does anyone else have a "word" or mantra that they're going to follow for 2008? I just love this concept...I feel like it gives me a goal that I can work the entire year on!

Until next time...

Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008

2007 was such a good year, it's difficult to say goodbye. I feel like our little family made so much progress during the last 12 months so it's exciting to think of what's next for us. Just a little recap of major things that happened with the Payne family:

1. Jamie took a trip to Hawaii without Jason or the boys. Had a fabulous time with Mimi exploring new territory and learning new techniques for our obsession...err...hobby.

2. Ayden became potty trained in a month. He still wears a pull up at night, but sometimes wakes up dry. Good job little man!

3. Jamie turned 30! For some reason I thought I'd wake up a changed person...physically...mentally...something. But what I learned is that I'm happy where I am in my life so "30" is just a number.

4. Jameson turned 1. Our little goober was walking by 10 months so this was a fun time for us. Still can't believe how fast they grow!

5. Mimi and Bumpa moved to a new house. It was actually hard on me. I didn't grow up in that house or have a life time of memories there, but some really great stuff happened in that house so it wasn't easy to say goodbye. They met Jason in that house, I had one of Ayden's baby showers there, my mom introduced me to scrapping in the spare bedroom, Ayden learned to crawl and go up stairs...just some really good stuff. I love the new house though and am excited to start some new memories.

6. Jason seriously kicked butt at Patriot and got a little promotion. I'm so proud of his dedication to his job and the way he supports his family. I love you bunny!

7. We had our first family vacation at the beach. Words can not describe how much we needed it or how much fun it was. I'm looking forward to doing something like that again every year.

8. Jamie officially went off of Prednisone in April (I had been taking it for almost 4 years straight) and hasn't had to take it since. This is one of my favorite accomplishments!

Now we're on to a new year and new experiences. I really took 2007 to look at my life. What are my goals, what type of person/mother/wife do I want to be, what's truly most important? I certainly found a lot of areas that need improvement and I see 2008 as the year to act. I feel like as a family, we can do anything!

Some New Years resolutions:
1. Go back on diet!
2. Continue working on my patience with the boys.
3. Do not make Jason feel guilty for all of his time at work and away from us. Remember that he's doing it for our family.
4. Take a family trip to Wisconsin. No matter how long it's for, it's just important that we're there.
5. Find a babysitter so that Jason and I can have more time together. Maybe a monthly date night?
6. Scrap a layout every week. I'd love to have a family album that shows "something" from all 52 weeks in the year 2008. This one is going to be hard, but I'm determined!
7. Put more pictures on the blog. This means taking more and finding the time to not only download them but also post them. Another difficult one.

Do you have any good resolutions for 2008? Any special memories that really stick out from 2007? Please share!

Happy 2008 everyone! I hope this year brings you lots of love, happiness and memorable experiences!